I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
