so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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