I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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