Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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