I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
