i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
