:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
