I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Randomize
