when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
there was a trapeze. enough said
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
