So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
