I wish i was in the wii world.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Randomize
