Ambien. No doubt about it.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
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