Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
It's blow job season.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
