Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
