Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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