I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I need to align my fucking chakras
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
