So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I puked a lego.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I lost the right to judge tonight
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
