i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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