I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
