i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
