Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
They took my balls.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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