she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
