I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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