i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
