Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Banned from zoo.
Again?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
