there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
