love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
