Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
