I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
You were trust falling into bushes
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
