hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
