Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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