I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
