it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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