Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i don't like sucking hair
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
