you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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