Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
