Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
