she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
