no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
