Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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