So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
