take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Randomize
