I understand Curling. That high.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
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