just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
