Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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