Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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