Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
