Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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