We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
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