Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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