WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
