I'm gonna have a badass scar
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
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