ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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