i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize