I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
