She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
