i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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