My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
