I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
