Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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