if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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