kristin has been a bad kristin
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
