I hate your face
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
