i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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