NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
